Download E-books Cancer Is a Bitch: Or, I'd Rather Be Having a Midlife Crisis PDF

By Gail Konop Baker

Gail Konop Baker was once a runner, yoga practitioner, doctor’s spouse, and lifetime subscriber to Prevention journal. yet correct ahead of her forty-sixth birthday, she heard the phrases that may endlessly swap her existence: Just to be secure, i believe we should always biopsy. It was once the start of her yearlong conflict with breast melanoma and its fallout—a conflict that might upstage any midlife challenge she’d anxious used to be ready within the wings. Cancer Is a Bitch is her uncooked, relocating, and humorous account of juggling midlife, motherhood, and marriage with a rogue boob—and, eventually, prevailing. it is going to, as writer Lolly Winston acknowledged, “crack [you] up one minute, then deliver [you] to tears the next.”

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Hate that I’m swollen, hate that I’m the following on Valentine’s Day rather than at Victoria’s mystery paying for the cleavage-enhancing Miracle Bra that Redbook instructed for assured wonderful form. imagine if I’d their “Sizzle to your Sweetie” recommendation, i might be slipping right into a crimson gown, on my technique to a romantic dinner, wouldn’t be listening to the oncologist announcing, “Even although the physician acquired fresh margins, your possibility of invasive melanoma is 4 to 5 instances more than the common lady. ” Wouldn’t be afraid to examine my wrong breast less than the cruel fluorescent mild. all of it all started the morning of my annual mammogram a couple of weeks past in January. Over breakfast my nine-year-old son Alex and that i mentioned the dog he’d been begging for, ever because the loss of life of our puppy that previous Thanksgiving. Now that I’d accomplished my novel (about a girl who unearths a lump in her breast and wonders if she’s lived a significant life), i used to be able to think about a brand new puppy on the shut of what were a demanding, busy year—the puppy demise, my husband, Mike’s, slow-healing knee surgical procedure, and our oldest daughter, Anna’s, collage program method. a virtually straight-A pupil with SAT ratings such as my Ivy League radiologist husband’s, a singer, a dancer, and a cross-country runner, and she’d been rejected early-decision by way of Dartmouth, his alma topic. Dartmouth have been a resource of anxiety for us the entire as far back as while Mike introduced me domestic to his mom, who was once disenchanted that I wasn’t the blond-bobbed, Episcopalian Dartmouth grad she’d despatched him to school to satisfy. in its place, i used to be a wavy-haired, curvy, Jewish, wanna-be poet who lived within the East Village and had long past to an “experimental” university (even I questioned what she might be able to make of me). So whilst Anna stated she didn’t are looking to practice to Dartmouth, I acknowledged if she didn’t are looking to, she shouldn’t; and Mike acknowledged i used to be undermining him, turning her opposed to his institution and i evidently didn’t comprehend the full “Ivy League factor. ” Our center daughter, Maddy—also in highschool and panicked through her sister’s panic—signed up for extra golf equipment, SAT prep, and dance crew, whereas Alex was once taking part in indoor football and basketball, either at contrary ends of city. as though that wasn’t sufficient, all 12 months I’d felt strain from my agent to ship her my new manuscript. yet that morning, I dropped Alex off in class, introduced the newspaper with me to my mammogram, and as I waited within the cubicle for the technician to inform me to dress and move domestic, I turned around “healthy, lovely, mixed-breed puppies loose to reliable home,” and thought of how even more time i might have now that the opposite university functions have been within the mail and my new novel was once whole. I’d commence again at yoga and cook dinner extra intricate dinners and focus on the conflict in Iraq and worldwide warming and fit all of the unrivaled socks rather than stuffing them into that outdated bureau on the best of the stairs—when the technician peeked in and acknowledged, “We have to get a couple of extra motion pictures. ” “Not to worry,” she stated, as she whisked me down the corridor smiling, carrying on with the tale approximately her grand-son or granddaughter or grandsomething doing whatever grand.

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